why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
