the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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