i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
