OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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