brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
