I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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