I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Screwed.edu
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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