Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
