that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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