Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
