Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize