party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
