Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
