You smell like a Billy Joel song
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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