Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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