your parents love me but you hate me
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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