You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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