Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
