how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
