Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
