I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
