Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize