She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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