we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
