Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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