I'm lost and stupid without you.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
