I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
