I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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