You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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