last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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