i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
