great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
