Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
