What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He did a backflip because drugs
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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