wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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