Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
