Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
