So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
