I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize