In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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