R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dignity is for republicans.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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