It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Terrible idea I love it
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
