Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
