I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
