I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
