sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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