I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
