We're like a lot better than the average bears
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
