Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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