watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
