i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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