It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
