Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
