Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
