it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
