Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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