Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
