College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
