rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
