after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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