Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
3 2 1 whiskey
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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